Today in church we talked about overcoming trials in our lives. Trials were spoken of as “things that, although they make us suffer, we can become stronger from.” While this is true, I believe we often misunderstand where our trials are actually coming from.

Most people think trials are something that just happen to us. These kinds of trials do exist. But we may be surprised to find that our trials come from many other sources as well.

Possibility #1: We make them up.

Many of our difficulties are actually nonexistent. Yet our mind conjures them up because we feel like we should be experiencing a trial. A good example of this is when we’re “starving” because we haven’t eaten in six hours. Yeah, you’re hungry… but you’re making that starving part up.

Possibility #2: We bring them on ourselves.

Bad relationships, low-paying jobs, broken down cars, and loneliness are sometimes caused by external factors. But most of the time it’s because you ignored the warning signs, sold yourself short, and limited yourself to your fullest potential. Sorry to tell you this, but it’s probably your own fault your life sucks.

Possibility #3: We don’t avoid them.

Are you one of those kids that touches the stove, even though you were told it was hot? What about the people that always seem to be astounded when their houses get destroyed by a hurricane — didn’t you see if coming, living on the east coast and all?

Lots of trials can be avoided. Yet we seem to always be rolling the dice, hoping snake eyes don’t come up.

Possibility #4: We seek them out.

We all know that one person that always seems to be busy. Busy, busy, busy. No time for play, no time for relaxation, no time for service, no time for lunch. No time to do anything, because she’s busy — pitifully busy.

Yet here’s a secret that she’ll never admit to: she doesn’t HAVE to be busy all the time. Yet she wants to be, because that makes her a martyr. That earns her the pity and respect of her friends, and that’s more satisfying than anything else in the world.

This last type of person — the one that seeks out trials and tribulation — is the one that worries me the most.

While I don’t believe that the perfect life is a trial-free life, I do believe that its best to learn what we need to learn from trials and then moving on as quickly as possible.

The best way to move on from a trial is to recognize where it’s coming from. If it happens to be one of the above four sources, know that your trial is only going to last as long as you let it. Because you’re bringing it on yourself.