I returned from a weekend trip to Atlanta yesterday. Upon inspecting my CHECKED luggage, I found the following missing:

• iPod Touch USB Cable
• Cell Phone Charger
• Razor Cartridge

I only have two possible explanations for this. Either one single Schick Quattro razor cartridge posed a significant threat to national security (they left my two other refill cartridges alone), or a TSA agent in Atlanta has the same cell phone as me and needed a charger.

Either way, I’m blaming you Obama. Now there’s NO way I’m ever going to pay for my own health care again.