I hardly ever go to parties.

Don’t get me wrong — I love dancing, loud music, and being around friends. I love meeting new people, learning new names, and having a senseless good time. I can even make myself into a “social butterfly,” giving the impression that I really am enjoying myself.

Yet deep down inside, parties extract a lot of energy out of me. They force me to become unnaturally extroverted and make me very uncomfortable. As a result, I end up hating parties and avoiding them whenever possible.

It’s because I’m an introvert. Chances are, you are too.

Lots of words have been invented for party haters like me. People call us shy, reclusive, quiet, reserved, wet blankets. Psychologists take pity on us, however, and lovingly refer to us as “introverted.”

Fortunately, we introverts are not alone. More than 57% of people are classified as introverted, according to psychologist Dr. Laurie Helgoe.

And we’re not the wet blankets that we’re purported to be. “Being an introvert does not mean you’re antisocial, asocial, or socially inept,” according to Dr. Helgoe in her recent book, Introvert Power. “It means that you prefer spacious interactions with few people. And it means that, when you converse, you are more interested in sharing ideas than in talking about people and what they’re doing.”

So being introverted isn’t a bad thing. We have fun, too — it’s just different from our extroverted counterparts. Where they gain energy from socializing and having a large number of acquaintances, we gain energy from being in touch with ourselves and having a few cherished friends. It’s apples and oranges, really.

Yet society shoves extroversion down our throats.

So why do I feel bad for not going to parties? I’ve spent the last three years of my college career forcing myself to be extroverted, because that’s what seems socially acceptable. Having fun in college means going to parties, having lots of friends, and making small talk with random people you don’t know. Right?

What about having a quiet evening at home watching a movie? What about writing a novel in your spare time, because that’s what you like to do? What about having three or four close friends (and a girlfriend, of course) that you love doing things with?

Why do you need to dress up like a banshee every Halloween, act like a retard when the football team wins, or put on a show when you speak in church? What if that’s not you, even though society dictates that it should be?

You can be yourself and be happy, too.

I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to be introverted. It’s okay if you don’t quite fit the mold that society imposes on you. I’ve felt for years like I’m different, and it’s bothered me. But now, since I’ve started learning about what it means to be an introvert, I’m starting to feel like it’s okay to be myself.

But please be careful. It’s not okay to be sad, depressed, lonely, or unwanted. You should never mask deeper problems under the ruse of introversion, and you should definitely seek help if you really feel something’s wrong. If you’re truly introverted, being alone shouldn’t make you feel lonely at all.

I got Introvert Power for Christmas this morning. After only three chapters I’m feeling the social pressure of the last five years lift off my shoulders, and it’s wonderful.